Do you have a propensity to say harsh things to your spouse or ex-partner that you soon regret saying? Did your emails or texts cause your divorce? Do they still cause you grief? Are you spewing whatever comes to mind without thinking about it first?
Many folks have picked up some very nasty habits over the years. If you drive in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex, you will invariably encounter hostile driving, questionable gestures, and awkward situations. We call this “Road Rage.” This leads to stomping, cursing and saying many words not intended for the General Audience.
Often in a marital or familial relationship we experience those instances of rage that lead us to stomp, curse and say many words not intended for even a Parentally Guided Audience. Perhaps a Restricted Audience would be even be blushing. This is often then followed with spits, spats, tantrums and fights that lead to separation or divorce.
For some, the “rage” never dies down. For some, the “rage” continues toward the former loved one and interferes with child relationships, business relationships, and self relationships. In other words, some people cannot naturally curb their insults, aggressiveness, bullying, or indignant remarks toward others or themselves.
My esteemed colleague, John Denke, recently posted a blog about utilizing Our Family Wizard for communication about your children after a divorce or separation. I agree one hundred percent with John that OFW is a great tool for all divided parents to use to communicate more effectively and with greater accuracy. But here is an additional nifty feature that costs about ten bucks a year as an add-on to OFW: ToneMeter. You can also purchase this tone type of software or app independently, such as ToneCheck™, which works with the word processing aspect of your computer or device.
Just like grammar, spelling, and language software, now there is help available for watching your tone as you type. If you start using a sequence of words that could be construed as offensive or aggressive, the tone software will mark, flag, and offer suggested changes to what you have yelled into the communication, but before you send it. It gives you the opportunity to soften your tone before you hit Send.
Believe it or not, family lawyers don’t like to see high conflict between clients engaging in further destructive behavior. This software is worth trying to see if it might reduce your nasty comments and inappropriate messaging. Try toning it down for a change! It may be the best app you’ve ever purchased.