Each person grieves the end of his or her marriage in unique ways. You may struggle with feelings of anger, resentment, sadness, betrayal, fear, relief, devastation, confusion and/or frustration at any given time until months after your divorce is finalized. However, it is vitally important that you channel these feelings in healthy ways that do not sabotage your divorce process. It is completely normal to experience these emotions. However, you should not act on them in any way that will cause you regret down the road.
How can you avoid regret during the divorce process? First, identify what you truly want for yourself in the future. For example, you may want financial security and a significant role in your children’s lives. If these are your goals, engaging in revenge actions or other behaviors that may taint your child custody and/or property settlement disputes will likely cause you regret. Keeping your ultimate goals and well-being in mind will help you to avoid impulsive behaviors that may damage your future happiness.
Second, take time to really identify your values and what is most important to you. Many individuals fight over property and parenting plan provisions simply because they feel the need to assert power or entitlement when it comes to their spouse. However, only some fights are truly worth fighting. If some piece of property or parenting plan provision is truly important to you and your values, then hire an attorney who will help you fight for what you need. Otherwise, consider compromise. Compromise will help you move on from your divorce more quickly and more definitively than endless fighting will.
Source: The Huffington Post, “How To Succeed At Divorce (Yes, It’s Possible!)” Laura Miolla, Dec. 1, 2013.